According to the Royal Hospital for Neuro-disability, “1 person every 90 seconds attends the hospital with a brain injury and every 3 minutes with a head injury” …that’s 977 admissions a day from a plethora of causes, be that an accident (e.g. vehicle accident or fall), a fight or a medical issue (such as stroke).
In 2008, I was tucking into a pub lunch, laughing with my work peers on our lunch break, when suddenly, my world changed forever.
Like a veil falling over one side of my face, brain, and body, my stroke took half of me away. In a split second, the ordinary became unimaginable. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t move my left side. My speech was affected. I went from independent professional to hospital patient—confused, frightened, and grieving for a life I no longer recognised.
The Hidden Side of Stroke
When we think about brain injury, we often focus on the physical impact: paralysis, fatigue, speech difficulties, or balance issues, depending on the area of damage. But what’s less visible—and often even harder to bear—is the emotional aftermath. I was suddenly living in a body that didn’t feel like mine. I felt loss, anger, guilt, frustration, sadness, and above all, fear. In the early days, I felt like I’d lost not just my physical abilities, but also my voice, my purpose. The grief was silent, but suffocating.
I didn’t just lose function—I lost my identity. Who was I now? Would they take my children away from me? How would I navigate relationships, work, and my independence? I couldn’t answer those questions. I barely knew how to begin asking them, (in fact, the only word I was able to say at first was F***!!).
Finding Support Through Counselling
That’s where counselling became my lifeline. In therapy, I found a space where I didn’t have to pretend I was coping. A space where it was safe to say, “I’m not okay”—and not be judged or pitied. I was supported to explore the trauma of what had happened to me, to mourn the version of myself I’d lost, and slowly reconnect with the parts of me that remained.
Together with my counsellor, I began to process:
- The shock and trauma of the stroke itself
- The grief of losing physical abilities and lifestyle
- The deep changes to my self-image and confidence
- The anxiety about the future
- My health and how to manage fatigue
- The impact on my family.
We also worked on tools to manage overwhelming emotions, to ground myself during moments of panic or frustration (which was most of the time at the beginning!), and to honour the resilience that was quietly growing beneath my grief.
Rebuilding – Not Just Recovery, But Redefinition
Counselling didn’t “fix” what had happened - but it helped me rebuild. Not back to who I was before, but towards who I was becoming – the new me. It gave me a space to heal emotionally while I worked on healing physically. It gave me hope when everything felt broken.
That journey also shaped the therapist I am today.
Having lived through a life-changing injury, I now specialise in supporting others navigating similar experiences—people living with disability, chronic illness, trauma, and grief. I understand, not just professionally, but personally, how hard it can be to find your voice again after the unthinkable has happened.
Headway – The Brain Injury Association is an excellent source of support and information and provides a wide range of practical and emotional resources, including:
- Guides on rehabilitation and recovery
- Support with returning to work, driving, and daily living
- Information for families and carers
- A free helpline offering advice and emotional support
If you or someone you love is living with a brain injury, please know you’re not alone. The emotional impact is real and valid. You deserve support, not just to survive, but to rediscover meaning, connection, and strength in this new chapter of your life.
If you’d like to talk, I offer a safe, compassionate space to explore what you’re feeling and find a way forward that’s right for you. I offer a free initial call and would love to hear from you. I have availability on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, but can also be flexible if required. https://kt-counselling.co.uk/
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