When you’ve experienced a profound loss — the death of someone you loved, the sudden end of life as you knew it, the loss of your health or independence — you start to understand something that many people don’t: grief doesn’t have an end point.
It doesn't just “get better” after six months, or a year. It's not a wound that simply heals if you give it time and plenty of positive thinking. It doesn’t follow a tidy checklist of stages. And perhaps most frustratingly, it doesn’t respond to the well-meaning pressure of others saying, “You should be over it by now!” or “Aren’t you ready to move on?”
Let’s be honest — that’s not helpful. At all.
If you’ve lost someone or something deeply meaningful, you already know that those words miss the point entirely.
Meanwhile, the world carries on. People politely check in (“How are you doing?”) while clearly hoping you’ll say “Much better, thanks!” Then they swiftly change the subject — as if grief were an awkward houseguest who’s stayed too long and started eating from the good fridge.
Eventually, you may start wondering yourself: “Should I be over this? Am I stuck? What’s wrong with me?”
But here’s the truth: there is nothing wrong with you.
What you’re feeling is not weakness — it’s a reflection of something profoundly human. You loved. You cared. You attached your heart and your hope to someone, or something, that mattered. The more love there was, the greater the grief.
Grief Doesn’t Go Away — But It Can Be Carried
Grief doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re alive. And while it may never vanish, your life can grow around it. Over time, many people learn to carry their grief — not to cure it, but to live alongside it. This might look like:
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Carrying it with compassion, not shame
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Making room for sadness without letting it consume everything
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Honouring what was lost, while gently allowing life to move again
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Finding meaning in what remains, even when everything has changed
Some days, it will still hit like a wave and knock the wind out of you. Other days, it might just whisper at the edges. But you don’t need to “get over it,” like it’s a bad cold that should have cleared up by now.
Grief is love in another form. And it deserves to be treated that way.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
As a professional counsellor — and someone who understands from lived experience how grief and loss can upend everything you thought you knew — I offer a space where your grief can simply exist. No timelines. No judgment. Just support.
Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one, adjusting to life after brain injury or disability, or carrying a quieter, more invisible kind of sorrow — I’m here to walk alongside you.
📩 Book a free 15-minute consultation at: kt-counselling.co.uk